


The 5 Times Tony Stark Talked About Blaine

by taylortighten



Category: Glee, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-17
Updated: 2012-07-22
Packaged: 2017-11-10 03:37:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/461798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taylortighten/pseuds/taylortighten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The five times the Avengers found out that Tony had a son and the one time Blaine Anderson found out his dad was that Tony Stark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Steve

**Author's Note:**

> I blame this on Kendra. She told me to do it.

[Steve]

"You better tell me about this boy, especially if you made up some story about practicing for some fair or mall show," Tony scolded into his StarkPhone, wagging his finger at absolutely nothing. After a pause, he grunted and nodded. "Fine, fine, I'll talk to you later. Bye, kid."

"Who was that?" The voice nearly startled Tony out of his chair, but he hid it by jumping up and grinning at Steve.

"Oh, right, just Blaine." He shrugged, tossing his phone onto his work bench and shoving his tongue between his lips when he went back to examining the calculations JARVIS had up and waiting for him.

"Who's Blaine?" Cap asked slowly, frowning as if he was missing a chunk of conversation.

"Ah, you see," Tony hesitated, pretending to be focused on his work as he thought around, trying to find a good lie. Then he gave in and turned back around to the captain, all flamboyancy shoved to the front in the hopes of making it a casual admission. "He's my son."

Steve stayed silent, waiting for someone to pop out of the woodwork (or ceiling, in Clint's case) and shout that it was opposite day or something strange. It had to be a joke; he was Tony Stark, Iron Man! Everyone would know if he had a son, right? When Tony didn't start laughing, just kept look at him expectantly, Steve's eyes went comically wide.

"What?" He asked slowly, frowning. "You don't have a son. I'd have heard about it by now, wouldn't I?"

Completely confused and not getting any help from his teammate, Cap turned on his heel and stared around the workshop like there would be a child standing behind him or a pile of toys in the corner.

"Naw," Tony chuckled, scrubbing a grease-stained hand through his hair, sending half of it sticking up in random directions. "Kid lives with his mom in Ohio. I haven't even seen him since before this." He noted, tapping at the blue glow through his Metallica shirt.

"That's insane, Tony, you should see your son-" Steve started, gaping at his fellow Avenger and crossing his arms over his broad chest, as if that would make it happen (like Tony ever listened to Cap's demands in the first place).

"His mother hates me, Steve," Tony interrupted with a sharp laugh and a roll of his eyes. "It's really not that simple. But, hey, don't go getting those puppy dog eyes! Kid is coming over for Christmas this year, so you'll all get to meet the mystery child."

Before Steve could protest or ask any questions that involved far too many emotions that Tony wasn't sure even existed in his body, Tony rushed him out of the room, insisting he needed silence to work on his projects. A lie which he ruined the very next minute, when he began blasting America through the room.

Steve didn't bring up the subject again, afraid that he'd go deaf from trying to talk over the throbbing of the music.


	2. Bruce

[Bruce]

"Hey Tony, have you see-" Bruce stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the horror in front of him. He didn't think he had ever seen so much red.

And green, and gold. Tape and ribbon.

Tony was (attempting) to wrap presents. Presents that he hoped were for none of the Avengers, because he really didn't want to know who was getting the skateboard, or the fragile looking guitar that was currently in Tony's hands.

"Jolly green giant!" The mad man screeched, waving frantically at the scientist still frozen at the doorway. "Help! The tape is stuck to my arm, and the guitar, and it wont come off, and I think it's starting to burn, which really shouldn't be happening-" He rambled, looking more frazzled than Bruce had seen him in quite a long time. Since Clint had been presumed dead, actually.

"Breath," Bruce insisted, slowly walking towards the mess of wrapping paper, copying the breathing exercises himself. "Did you make the tape adhesive yourself?"

"No." Tony frowned, tugging at the green duck tape that was circled around his entire bicep.

"Then it's probably not burning," He chuckled, kneeling down and digging his short nails under the edge of the tape to pry it off the neck of the guitar before moving on to his friends skin. "But you definitely don't want to be sticking it onto a vintage Les Paul, you'll ruin it!"

Tony whined and squirmed under Bruce's careful hands, going to work on the shreds of tape plastered all over Iron Man's clothing. And skin. And hair.

"How am I supposed to wrap this crap? Do sixteen year olds even like this stuff?" He groaned, smartly setting the guitar away from the two of them before kicking around like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

"Why are you buying presents for a sixteen year old?" Bruce asked slowly, still taking deep, calming breaths and his eyes downcast, cautiously eying the scattered gifts as if they were rigged to explode. It did sound like something Tony might do by accident.

"Blaine's coming for Christmas, and I totally forgot about presents, and I don't even know if he'll like this stuff, all I know is that he likes scarves! And Katy Perry! Oh, oh, maybe I can rent Katy Perry!"

"I'm fairly sure that would be prostitution, or slavery," The scientist chuckled, raising an eyebrow as he began unwrapping the handful of already done gifts. Horribly done, at that. "Who's Blaine?"

"My kid! I haven't seen him in years, I don't even remember when, and now I'm supposed to entertain him for a week because Marjorie is traveling with her new boyfriend or something and doesn't want to take him with her and thinks he's too young to handle a week by himself, but at that age I was doing everything on my own!"

"Your son?" Bruce repeated slowly, frowning as he thought about that piece of information. "I'm sure he'll like this box set of... Transformers movies. But how about I wrap them and you tell me about him?"


	3. Thor

[Thor]

"BROTHER TONY!" Thor boomed, clapping the smaller man on the back and grinning broadly. "YOU HAVE DISPOSED OF ALL YOUR ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES?"

"Yeah, buddy," Tony winced, backing away from Thor just a step so he could keep his hearing intact for a little longer. "Can't have that stuff lying around at a time like this."

"IS THIS A SEASON OF REPENTANCE FOR MIDGARDIANS?"

"No, well, I guess, I don't know what other Midgardians do for Christmas, but that's not what I meant," Frowning and thinking of how to explain it, Tony just shrugged. "We're going to have a visitor who is under the drinking age, and as much as I loved getting plastered when I was his age, I really doubt his mother would enjoy that."

"I DO NOT UNDERSTAND, FRIEND, WHO IS THIS YOUNG VISITOR?" Thor looked utterly confused by the concept of certain ages not being allowed to 'partake in festivities of mead'. He probably drank as a baby. No wonder Loki was so screwed up.

"Well, sometimes, Thor, bud, when two people like each other, or well, in my case, get really wasted at a party, and are presented with the chance to do the horizontal dance of the Gods- no, not you, different Gods- a baby is made. And sometimes, when the bi- woman regrets what she did, she runs off to Ohio to raise that baby without the help of a billionaire alcoholic. Now that baby is sixteen and coming over for that Midgard holiday we told you about, with the presents and egg nog."

"I STILL DO NOT COMPREHEND, DID YOU BARE A CHILD?"

"Well, I guess you can say that, he's technically mine. And I sure as hell checked on that before I gave that chick child support, but blood doesn't lie! Even though that blood test sent me to jail for three nights because apparently you shouldn't have a blood toxicity level that high without the need for a slap on the wrist."

"BROTHER TONY! HOW I HAVE NOT HEARD OF THIS CHILD BEFORE? WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, I MYSELF HELPED TO RAISE A YOUNG LOKI! I COULD HAVE BEEN OF ASSISTANCE IN RAISING YOUR YOUNGLING!"

"Thor, woah, slow down. Not that I don't totally appreciate the gesture, because it would be great seeing you with a little baby in those plate-sized hands of yours, but claiming to help raise your insane brother doesn't help your case. And the kid is sixteen now, he's not a baby, it's a little too late to do any raising. Especially because the kid has never even lived in the same state as me."

"YOU DO NOT KNOW YOUR OWN CHILD? OH, HOW UNPLEASANT A STORY, BROTHER TONY! I DO SO WISH FOR YOU TO REUNITE WITH YOUR BLOOD LINE, AS I HOPE TO REUNITE WITH MY DEAREST BROTHER-"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, Thor. You'll get your wish, don't worry. The kid will be here in a couple weeks, yeah? Don't get your giant Norse panties in a twist over it, we'll do a whole Avengers-teenager bonding thing, okay? Hell, I think he's probably going to be more mature than Hawkeye and myself combined."

"THE HAWK IS VERY MATURE, HE IS OF AGE TO DO ALL SORTS OF THINGS HERE ON MIDGARD-"

"Clint's as old as a bat, I know," Tony laughed, clapping Thor on his arm and grinning. "But he acts like a child. And here I am, pot calling out the color of the kettle."

"WHAT IS THIS POT AND KETTLE YOU SPEAK OF?"

"You've been here for how long, and I still haven't managed to teach you these phrases? Alright, it's like this..."


	4. Natasha

[Natasha]

"Hey Pep- Oh my God, Natasha, are you smiling?!"

"Tony, there's no need to shout," Pepper sighed, momentarily pinching at the bridge of her nose before setting down the chopsticks in her other hand and crossing her arms over her chest. "Was there something you wanted?"

"I just wanted to know if you're coming over for Christmas, and I really want to know why she was smiling!" Tony plowed on, pointing an accusing finger at Black Widow, who was looking at him with her practiced blank face.

"You're seeing things." Natasha simply told him, eating an egg roll with elegance that no one else held.

"No, I'm not-!"

"Be quiet Tony, please," Pepper held a hand up, stopping the two mid-bicker. "Is there a reason I would be at the Tower for the entire day, instead of just dinner?"

"Blaine! Pep, Blaine will be there, and you have to be there, because he'll go insane if he's around me all day, and you know you love him!"

"Blaine will be there?" Pepper sat up, eyes bright; smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

"And Blaine is...?" Natasha questioned, raising a manicured eyebrow at her girlfriend.

"That's his son." She told her, springing up from her seat and going on about not having enough time to find a good gift and not enough time to make sure Tony got a proper gift.

Natasha stared at Tony with an expression he had never seen before, and he was an inch away from running, afraid that she was going to snap his neck. If he didn't know better, he'd call that fury rather than shock.

"Um, yeah, I kind of have a sixteen year old kid that lives in Ohio?" He stumbled, flashing a weak grin in the absentminded hope that she'd let him live long enough to see the boy.

"You have a child. A biological son that I have never met, let alone heard of?" Tony nodded slowly. "What the hell kind of Aunt am I supposed to be with such little time to get him a gift?"

She was scolding him, Tony realized after a moment of shock. Not killing him or yelling at him for keeping Pepper out of the loop until the last minute. Within a blink, she had taken Pepper's seat and began questioning about the boy's tastes, Pepper leaning over her shoulder and giving her tips on presents, both of them commenting that Tony probably had gone straight past buying something practical and either made the kid an Iron Man suit or bought him a car that cost half a million dollars.

Tony had considered it until JARVIS talked him down from building a car with repulsions strong enough to make it fly.

With the way the two women kept looking at him, he was certain that'd get him killed.


	5. Clint

[Clint]

"Clint! No!" Tony cried out, stomping his feet and glaring at the man poking the presents under the Christmas tree.

"You got a real tree, and these are real presents!" Hawkeye gaped, staring wilding around the room, seeing if he was in a different reality or something.

"Yes! And no, don't touch that, it's not for you!" He whimpered, batting at the hands that were nearly ripping the meticulously wrapped scarf set Steve helped him pick out.

"Blaine? Who the hell is that?" Clint grumbled, reading the nametags on half the presents. "And why does he get more presents than I do?"

"Shut up, birdbrain, you're lucky you get any," Tony groused, snatching the box of limited addition vinyl records and setting them back down carefully. "My son is getting years worth of gifts in one go, so lay off!"

"Son!" Clint wheeled around and punched Tony's shoulder, hard. "Oh hell, no!"

"What?" Iron man grunted, rubbing at his shoulder and glaring at his fellow Avenger.

"You never said you had a kid!" He punched again, huffing when he got a punch to the arm in return.

"You never asked!" Tony replied, scrunching up his face as the two of them continued hitting each other.

Well, until a hand slapped at the back of both of their heads.

"Stop it, you two." Phil ordered, raising a challenging eyebrow.

"But, but Phil! He has a kid and never told anyone!" Clint tattled, waving a finger from Tony's face to the stack of presents under the tree.

"Agent, he hit me first!" Tony argued, sticking his tongue out at Hawkeye.

"Clint, don't hit him. The boy is not a secret," Coulson started, rolling his eyes and quirking one corner of his mouth up in what might be called a smile. "You should have told me he was coming, Stark. I have to fill out reports for this sort of thing."

"Wait, wait, hold up, Coulson, you're telling me you already knew?" Clint blinked, hands on his hips.

"Of course I did, Barton. Blaine Anderson is sixteen, living in Ohio with his mother, attending a private school, and is lead in the school's singing group, the Dalton Academy Warbler's."

Tony lifted his hands innocently and backed away in a rush, before Clint could turn on him instead of focusing all of his attention on his secret-keeping boyfriend.


	6. Blaine

[+ Blaine]

"Dad?" Blaine hesitated, stepping into the thirty-second floor of the tower, bag slung over a shoulder and confusion written plain on his face.

"BROTHER TONY, I THINK THIS IS THE BOY YOU HAVE BEEN MENTIONING." Blaine jumped at the loud voice, eyes wide as he stepped back against the wall, watching the large man peeking out from the kitchen (well, he assumed it was the kitchen) in a pink apron.

Tony, frazzled and surprisingly clean of all grease stains, whirled around the wall and brightened considerably when he saw the teenager.

"Blaine!" He greeted, shoving an arm that was grabbing at his shirt away and hurrying forward to hug his son. Blaine just stared, wide-eyes flickering from his dad's face to the blue glowing from under his (also surprisingly clean) Cinderella shirt.

"Tony Stark," Blaine said, dropping his bag at his feet. "You're Tony Stark."

"Well, yeah, kid. I know you have your mom's name, but I didn't think you'd forget mine." Tony grinned crookedly, raising an eyebrow and grabbing the bag from the floor and heaving it over his shoulder.

"No, but. You, you're Iron Man!" At that point, the others began trickling into the room, curious about Tony's son. "Holy moly, you're Captain America! And Hawkeye, and Black Widow! Wait, so you must be Thor! And the Hulk- wait, no, uh, Doctor Bruce Banner!"

"He knows us!" Clint laughed, smugly grinning and taking the five dollars Steve held out for him.

"Golly, my dad is Iron Man." Blaine announced, obviously in a daze as he glanced around the group, scooting slowly towards Pepper, obviously recognizing her out of the group of heroes.

"Your extended family is the Avengers," Tony winked, turning to the others with a wide smile. "Clint, Natasha, play nice. No breaking my only son."

"I'll watch them." Steve assured him, walking forward to shake Blaine's hand.

"Captain America is saying hello to me," Blaine whispered to Pepper, shaking Cap's hand with stars in his eyes. "Am I dreaming, Aunt Pepper?"

"Nope." She laughed, pulling him into a tight hug before leading him around the group, introducing him to each of them, and Coulson. When he asked what Phil did, Clint piped up and called him their supernanny, which apparently was the wrong thing to call him, because before Blaine could shake Phil's hand, he was dragging Clint away by the ear.

"This is the coolest day of my life." The kid said, standing away from the small group, leaning against the wall next to his father.

"So, kiddo, tell me about this Kurt boy. Are his aunts and uncles going to have to have a chat with him?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a change I'll add a couple pieces to this 'verse at some point, so feel free to send me ideas.


End file.
